Sunshine Quilts

Monday, November 14, 2005

Graduation? Don't Count the Chickens before they Hatch!

Can you believe these grades? Why do I look at them before bed time . . then I'm all angry and can't go to sleep! The problem (well . . one of the problems) is that he makes a 90 or 100 on everything he turns in but half of the assignments just don't seem to be getting done. What do you do when they're almost 18? I can't run away from home because (1) the stash will not fit in the car; (2) the longarm will not fit in the car; (3) I have deadlines that I have not met because of Bonnie's Happy Houses! So . . I'll just go finish pulling out my hair but between these grades and the tornado watch, I am NOT going to sleep! Judy


  • Oh Judy, isn't it frustrating when the kids don't do what they're supposed to be doing? I like to think that as my children grow older they will take responsibility for their work and lives, but I still can't help trying to step in a little. Is there a counselor at the school who you could talk to about this? Maybe he needs some additional help with his organizational skills...including getting his homework in on time. Sometimes a little involvement by someone who is not a parent is enough of a push to make a student realize that he needs to be more attentive to his work. In the meantime, go make a cup of tea, sit somewhere comfy, (by a fireplace if that's possible!) and relax for a few minutes. You deserve a break! (And you MAY NOT run away...unless you take your computer with you so you can stay in touch with all of us!)

    By Blogger Carolyn, at 11/15/2005 06:54:00 AM  

  • Ya know, both my kids kinda skated through their senior years -- not too much effort put forth while we worried about whether they would graduate or be accepted into a college. They both did (graduate and get into the college of their choice). This too shall pass! My DH always says "kids' brains turn to lemon jello when they turn 13, and they don't become human again til they're about 26"! Good luck!

    By Blogger Joanne, at 11/15/2005 06:56:00 AM  

  • Judy..I share your pain. They will grow up and they will do you proud. Patience.

    By Blogger Trudi, at 11/15/2005 08:31:00 AM  

  • Because of a little "civil disobedience" my son ended up in solitary confinement for 3 days in juvenile detention (while in HS). While it was happening, I was a bowl of jello. In hindsight, it showed him that having an "attitude" would ruin his life. He is now a successful college student in charge of his own life and loving every minute of it. It was the wakeup call that he needed.

    I don't wish solitary confinement on any kid but ultimately, kids are responsible for their own actions. They need to know that---even if it means not graduating when they expect to graduate.

    They need to know that their choices produce their consequences--not yours. As a mom, it's hard to let them make what we think of as "unwise" choices but sometimes we both grow and learn from the choices.

    You could ask him if he is honestly satisfied with these grades. If he is, then that is what matters. If he is not, ask him what he plans to do to change the situation. I am sure he can think of a few suggestions & a plan to see the changes happen. Anyone taking forensic chemistry is not a doodoo head. Put the burden on his shoulders.

    By Blogger Debra Spincic, at 11/15/2005 10:31:00 AM  

  • Oh Judy - I'm there with you. My son is a Sr in HS and is just "I don't care" about everything but friends, computer and nintendo. He isn't trying too hard, but getting ok grades considering. But we can't get him to apply to college - and he got a 32 on the ACT! I'm so upset at the waste of a brain! I'm hoping he wakes up soon! I feel with you, because I"m a basket case these days over it also.

    By Blogger Dawn, at 11/15/2005 02:17:00 PM  

  • And why is it that our "smart" boys can be so dumb? Mine got into trouble about the same age, and almost didn't graduate. He ran away to TX for 3 mos, and then came crawling home, broke and ashamed. He barely made the grades with independent tutoring and begging at the high school, then turned himself around. He's a wonderful young man now, after 13 years in the Army (and yes in Irag), home and being a single father to two girls.

    Hang in there, give him support when/where you can. Growing pains are hard on his side, too.

    By Blogger Sharon, at 11/15/2005 03:42:00 PM  

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